Everything
by suspend your disbelief
Summary: Kenshin left to heal the wounds from his past, but how can Kaoru have hopes for her future?


Disclaimer: Well, I'm sure you know that the RK cast don't belong to me.. and neither does the song I'm using: Everything by M2M. But, it does belong to M2M, and they are a great band! So, check them out! Anyway, here I go.  
  
Everything ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Flashback: (In Kaoru's POV) Kenshin had a parcel in his hands. I had just finished training with Yahiko, and I thought I'd let him out early, to be nice. I also wanted to be with Kenshin. It was a perfect mid-summer's afternoon, and I wanted to spend it with the one I loved the most. He had only just told me he loved me the other evening, and this was the ideal time for us to be alone together.  
  
Kenshin looked shocked at my sudden arrival from the training hall. Though, he didn't look happy.  
  
"Cheer up, love!" I stood on my toes for a quick moment to kiss him on his cheek, even though he isn't all that much taller than I.  
  
He smiled slightly, his expression laced with sorrow.  
  
"Kenshin?" I asked, concerned. Had I done something to upset him in some way?  
  
"Kaoru, I need to leave. I'm sorry. My past has overtaken the present. I have unfinished business to take care of. I'm so sorry, Kaoru.." He said, and I could tell there were tears in his eyes.  
  
I thought this meant he had another battle. "Kenshin? I could go to your battle with you. Or, I'll wait patiently for your return." I smiled through the tears also apparent in my eyes.  
  
"Kaoru. I can't come back. I can't see you hurt again because of me." And with that, he left.  
  
I stood there, taken aback. I wanted to die. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (It's been nine days, eight hours, forty minutes, ten seconds, since you called) I forget a lot of things. I forget how long it's been since Kenshin left. Since he last smiled. Since the last time he said my name. All I know is, it's been too long.  
  
(I've been so crazy; I'm just about taking our picture off the wall.) I gazed upon the picture I insisted I had taken of us all. Except Sano. He's paranoid about that. But otherwise, we were all in it. Kenshin was next to me, smiling. It pained me to look at it. I want him back with me so badly. I haven't been eating much. I sleep a lot. Megumi said this routine is stupid, but she isn't forcing me to quit. I wish I knew where he was. Then, perhaps I could go and bring him back to me. Like Kyoto. That had worked, hadn't it? Even if it was only temporary.  
  
(It's been three months, over a hundred days, since you held my hand) The days are getting long. The nights are even longer. I think this is what insanity is like. All I can do is pray for him. Pray he returns to his home. This dojo is where he belongs. I know it. I just wish he did.  
  
(And I've missed you in a thousand ways. ) I wish I could tell him how much he means to me. How much I miss him. I want him back with me so much it hurts..  
  
(Will I ever see you again?) I'm beginning to give up hope on him coming home to me. I wish I could have said my proper farewells. I wish I could have convinced him to stay...  
  
(How did it change so fast? ) I thought he was happy with me here. What could have suddenly caused him to leave so suddenly? Why?  
  
(I won't give you to the past.) I can't just let his past devour him. It's overtaken me in immeasurable grief, and I can't just watch. I can't...  
  
(I really thought it'd last.) I knew our love was strong. I thought we'd be together forever. We seemed like a match made in heaven...  
  
(All that we had was so unbelievable) I love him so much. I would do anything to get him back to me... We were perfect for each other. It was astonishing.  
  
(Now that it's gone, it's just inconceivable) As soon as I knew he loved me, I was the happiest person in the universe. Then my happiness crashed into despair. How?  
  
(Still in my dreams,) I dream about him every night. How happy we were. How happy I thought we were going to be...  
  
(You are so, so beautiful) He's an angel. That's all I really can say about him. He was so kind; so faultless. Even if his past was gruesome. I chose to live in the present, and I thought he had eventually decided to do the same..  
  
(How could it be?) Why did he leave? How could he leave? If he really loved me.. Would he have left? Was he merely teasing me when he said he loved me? Was he playing me like a fool?  
  
(Did I lose my everything?) Would he even consider visiting? Maybe coming home after his fight? Or have I lost him forever?  
  
(Everything, everything, everything) And that's what he is. My everything.  
  
(It seems like everywhere, everyone's in love.) Megumi has Sano. Yahiko has Tsubame. Perfect matches..  
  
(So where are you?) ...But not as good a match as Kenshin and I. How I wish I could be with him again..  
  
(And I remember you couldn't get enough.) When he first told me he loved me, he took me into his arms and embraced me. He kissed me, and told me how long he had waited to tell me. How much he wanted to be with me. He said he wanted to be with me forever.  
  
(Is that the truth?) I believed him. I wanted to hear those words so badly. But had he been lying?  
  
(How did it change so fast?) How could he have said all of those sweet words to me, to only leave a few days after. It makes no sense to me...  
  
(I won't give you to the past) Was it.. Tomoe? Was she the cause? He had told me about her a long time ago. Had it been her? Had he felt he was betraying her by being with me? Or is it because he thinks I pale in comparison to me? I mean, even I have thought about it. I am a tomboyish kendo instructor, and she was a beautiful geisha girl. She was also older..  
  
(I really thought it'd last.) But I thought he loved me for me. I thought Tomoe was gone. I know he remembers her, but I thought he had committed himself to me. I guess I'm wrong.  
  
(All that we had was so unbelievable) Everyone could tell we should be together. Everyone had assumed we were together, as a couple, even when we first met...  
  
(Now that it's gone, it's just inconceivable) The day he left still feels like a nightmare. It couldn't have happened..  
  
(Still in my dreams) The dreams about him are becoming more sad now, than anything else. I cry when I wake up, because I miss him so much. And I cry myself to sleep. This is not much of a life. How could I have become dependant on him so quickly?  
  
(You are so, so beautiful) His face haunts me. His personality is so great I cannot measure.. I wish he was with me...  
  
(How could it be?) There are so many unanswered questions in life. How could he? Why could he? I wish, for once, there was something definite in life..  
  
(Did I lose my everything, everything, everything?) I think I am over him, but then I break down again. I always think I see him at the dojo gate. I used to get up to see if its true, but now those hallucinations have become so frequent, I shrug them off with a sigh. Until one day, it was true. My samurai had come home. Or had he...?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*  
  
Hey! It's 1 in the morning, and I'm wiped. But, I thought this would be great to write, and I didn't want to wait. ^.^;;;; I really liked this song fic! I was wondering if I made Kaoru too.. Hmmm.. Well, you know! XD I don't think so, after all, she is really deeply in love with Kenshin, so.. Anyway, I just may continue it, but I think it'll probably remain a one- shot song fic. But, if I get enough requests, I may continue. But, I do have another fic to write...and continue!  
  
Ciao for now! ~*Kaoru-dono*~ 


End file.
